


To Tame a Beast

by chekhovsgun



Series: Chevelle Chronicles [2]
Category: Preacher (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood Drinking, Body Horror, Explicit Language, F/M, Feral Cassidy, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 18:29:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7768531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chekhovsgun/pseuds/chekhovsgun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassidy’s lips curled back in a feral grin, so eerily similar to the smile he normally gave Jesse.  The preacher couldn’t help but think of wolves.  They looked like they were smiling when they opened their mouths but that’s just the way their faces were set.  Humans assigned meaning to the expression to humanize the thing that scared them and hunted them in the dark.  Jesse wondered if he had been doing the same with Cass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Tame a Beast

**Author's Note:**

> This is the polar opposite of the fluff piece I wrote so I hope y'all like emotional whiplash! Speaking of which, you have all been super nice thank you so much for the kind words and views on part 1. My angst writing is a bit rusty, but I wanted to give it a go.

“Fuck, Cass come on man. Cass! Stay with me buddy C’MON!” Jesse grabbed an unconscious Cassidy from under his arms and dragged him along the ground, away from the fight. 

“JESSE GET HIM THE FUCK OUTTA HERE NOW!” Tulip was holding them off for now, her gunfire keeping the Grail soldiers behind pillars and outcrops, but there were too many for her to keep at bay forever.

“I’M TRYIN’ TULIP!” Jesse’s voice was near cracking. He stuck to the shadows and finally reached the car and opened the door. “Sorry Cass,” Jesse grunted as he lifted the vampire and shoved him onto the backseat. Cass cried out in pain and he slipped from Jesse’s grip fully into the car, curling into himself. Jesse dropped to his knees and scrambled to duck into the car alongside him.

“Cass! Hey, Cass it’s ok. It’s ok it’s me. It’s Jesse we’re here. Tulip’s here too just hang in there,” Jesse’s hands worried over Cassidy’s wrecked body. 

Cassidy had been in the Grail’s hands for weeks, fuck knows what they had been doing to him. He was riddled with bullet holes, blood coating what clothes still clung to his thin frame. There was a gaping hole in his side where Jesse could see broken ribs protruding, and his left arm and foot where just completely fucking gone.

“Aw fuck Cass,” Jesse ran a shaking hand through his hair. “We gotta get you some blood quick.”

Cassidy’s eyes snapped open and he lifted his head towards Jesse. “Get…out of ‘ere. Now.” His voice was uncharacteristically low.

Jesse blinked. “I know Cass I know don’t worry. We’re gettin’ outta here soon as- TULIP I’VE GOT HIM LET’S GO!” He yelled over his shoulder. Tulip shouted something unintelligible in response as an explosion rocked the area and she slid over the hood of the car to Jesse’s side.

“What was-?”

“I said ‘fire in the hole’. We’re good for now that ceiling’s got ‘em pinned down nice and comfy. How is he?” Tulip’s smug grin melted into worry as she bent into the car and saw Cassidy.

“Jesus,” she breathed, hand reaching towards Cass, only for him to reach out and grip her wrist tightly. A gasp caught in her throat as he looked at her intently.

“Tulip. Remember…last time?” it came out rough, like it was an effort to even form words. Tulip swallowed and nodded. “Best get goin’. Don’t know…how long I can stay.” 

Tulip clenched her jaw and nodded again. Shoving Jesse aside and slamming the door. Jesse stood up next to her and raised his eyebrows in question.

“Goin’ off last time, we’ve got about 10 minutes to find a place. Let’s go,” Tulip hopped into the driver’s seat, Jesse sliding in next to her. The engine roared and they peeled onto the road.

“Tulip what’s ‘last time’?” Jesse’s eyes darted to the rearview mirror, watching as Cass took deep, laboring breaths with his eyes screwed shut as if in concentration. Small whimpers escaped him and his hand clenched and unclenched by his side.

“Last time. With the sun?” She looked at him pointedly. Jesse paled. “I was able to scrape him up and into my car then too. He was unconscious most of the drive, but when he woke up…I had to get him into my uncle’s room real fast.” Tulip’s eyes were also flickering between the road and the rearview.

“That why there was a lock on the outside of the door?”

Tulip side-eyed him. “Ok, dumb question. Sorry.” Jesse had the decency to look sheepish. Time passed in silence, the tree line zipping by in a green blur as Tulip pushed 100, her stomach twisted in knots of worry.

Tulip finally took a deep breath. “Look we just gotta…find a motel and put him in the bathroom or somethin’. As long as we’re not physically in the same place, he should be calm enough to let us throw animals at him and let time and blood do its- “

Cass groaned from the backseat, holding himself tightly as his breathing became more shallow and rapid.

“Oh fuck,” Tulip’s face drained of color and she looked over at Jesse with panic in her eyes. She spun the steering wheel and drove them off the road and into a shaded patch of trees. 

Cassidy’s face was screwed up in a grimace as rough noises from his chest accompanied each breath.

“Get out of the car GET OUT!” Tulip shoved Jesse who, terrified and bewildered, fumbled for the door handle as a snarl ripped from behind him and he slipped out the door and slammed it closed.

Jesse backed away stunned as Cassidy slammed against the inside of the door, all trace of humanity gone. His eyes were unfocused, his pupil’s constricted into pinpricks. Inhuman growls rumbled in his chest and he bared his teeth. 

Jesse stared in horrified fascination at the sharp, feral beast that had suddenly replaced his best friend. Tulip walked round to stand next to him, heavy breathing filled the evening air and their hands shook with adrenaline. Her gaze flickered over to Jesse’s stricken expression.

“You uh…you ain’t ever seen him like this before.” It was more of a statement than a question.

Jesse shook his head minutely. Tulip put a hand on his arm.

“I think we’ll be ok,” Tulip breathed. “He’s probably too weak to break out…hopefully.” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “The back’s got child locks and I don’t think he’s got the sense to try unlocking the front. Gonna be a bitch feedin’ him though.”

Jesse nodded absently, unable to take his eyes off Cassidy, who had curled back up onto the seat and was letting out noises that sounded more pained than aggressive.

“What if…what if I used Genesis?” Jesse finally tore his gaze away and looked at Tulip. “What if I told him not to hurt us?”

“Jesse,” Tulip sighed. “There’s no guarantee that’d work and you know it. What if he can’t understand speech right now? Hell, what if he can’t hear anything ‘sides our heartbeats?”

Jesse furrowed his brow and Tulip shrugged. “We talked about it is all. I asked Cass what it felt like.”

“He said it was like that?”

Tulip leveled her gaze at Jesse. “He said that it was like burning from the inside out. I just sorta figured the rest.” 

Jesse swallowed and set his jaw.

“Aw hell, I know that look. Jesse no this is stupid- “ 

“I can’t not try Tulip.” 

“We’ve got other options ok? One of us’ll stay here while the other goes to find a cow or somethin’-“ 

“We’re only a few miles out-“ 

“Then we’ll both stay here and wait for Cass to calm down enough to-“

“The Grail will be on our asses any minute WE DON’T HAVE TIME!”

Tulip opened her mouth then shut it, glowering at him. Jesse sighed and his face softened.

“I can’t let them take him again. Or you. I need…I need you both safe.”

“You’re a damn fool Jesse Custer.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“If this doesn’t work I’ll kill you.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Tulip grabbed Jesse by the lapels and kissed him deeply. She pulled away and spoke softly in his ear. “Call me ma’am again and I’ll kick you in the balls.” 

She shoved him away from her and walked towards the road. “I’m gonna keep a look out. You do what you gotta do.”

Face frozen for a brief moment in shock, Jesse let out a nervous laugh and scrubbed his face with his hand.

“Ok. Here goes nothin’.” Jesse turned back towards the car to find Cassidy still curled in the backseat, huffing out pained breaths.

As Jesse reached the door, Cass stilled for a beat. Holding his breath, Jesse started to lift the door handle only for Cass to once again slam into the window, snarling in the preacher’s face. A faint crack spider-webbed in the corner of the glass.

“Shit!” Jesse stumbled back. “Come on buddy meet me halfway here.” Cass knelt on the seat, bloodshot eyes following every minute movement Jesse made.

“Can you hear me in there?!” Jesse raised his voice. Cassidy’s lips curled back in a feral grin, so eerily similar to the smile he normally gave Jesse. The preacher couldn’t help but think of wolves. They looked like they were smiling when they opened their mouths but that’s just the way their faces were set. Humans assigned meaning to the expression to humanize the thing that scared them and hunted them in the dark. Jesse wondered if he had been doing the same with Cass.

Shaking off the thought, Jesse frowned and moved forward with deliberation as Cass tensed back.

“ ** _Stay_**!” 

Cass made to lunge forward but stopped short as if held back, causing him to yelp. Jesse grinned.

“So you CAN understand me still huh? Least as much as a dog can I guess. No offense Cass.”

Jesse opened the door a crack, earning another growl from the vampire who was straining to get at him, veins bulging in his neck.

“ ** _Easy, buddy_**.”

Cass whimpered and all tension melted from his body, shoulders drooping and face calming, a slight snarl still apparent on his lips.

“Ok I’m gonna get in here now with you. Just…fuck just stay calm ok?” Steeling himself, Jesse fully opened the door and crawled in next to Cassidy, not even a foot between them, and shut the door. Unable to move or tense in anyway, Cassidy’s growling increased in intensity and he started to drool as his eyes locked onto Jesse’s neck.

“I know Cass, I know. We don’t got a lot of options here, and we’re running out of time. And I don’t wanna leave Tulip out there on her own for long so we gotta get you good to go.” He noticed something flicker over Cassidy’s face at the mention of Tulip’s name, but for the life of him Jesse couldn’t say what. It was an emotion other than hunger and rage though, so that was something.

“You understood that didn’t you? Come on Cass I know you’re in there.” Cass continued to stare at Jesse’s jugular, giving no indication that he heard him at all. “Goddamn it, Cas COME ON. **_LOOK AT ME_**!” 

Without thinking, Jesse grabbed Cass by the shoulders and pulled him closer, their faces inches apart, and Cass looked him square in the eyes.

Cass was shaking with a reflex that he couldn’t release, his growls had turned into choked, whimpering sobs. Jesse could tell being this close to a living blood source and being unable to do anything was causing him excruciating pain. Jesse winced in regret.

“Aw shit, Cass. Ok. This isn’t gonna work until you heal some….Fuck it.” Jesse whipped a pocket knife out of his jacket and, without hesitation, sliced a horizontal line on his forearm.

“ ** _No biting. Drink_**.”

And with a groan, Cass latched onto Jesse’s arm and sucked hard. Jesse hissed in pain, yanking his arm back reflexively, only to pull Cass along with it causing the vampire to fall forward into Jesse’s lap and knock the air out of him. Jesse coughed roughly, trying to regain his breath, and watched in awe as Cassidy’s superficial wounds started to heal before his eyes. All the cuts and scrapes on his face vanished, followed by the bullet wounds. The gaping hole in Cassidy’s side slowly knit back together with muscle and skin, slowly filling and leaving no trace. Jesse wondered if he could give Cass enough blood to at least start re-growing his arm- he wondered if it would come back all at once or in layers. Would Cass have a skeleton arm for a while? That would look kinda cool.

Jesse shook his head, eyes beginning to mist over. Realizing he was losing blood at a far quicker rate than he anticipated, Jesse opened his mouth to tell him to stop but found that his tongue had turned to lead and he couldn’t seem to remember how to invoke Genesis.

“Cass…wait. I can’t…” Jesse’s eyes drooped. His head lulled forward and rested on Cassidy’s hair.

He faintly registered Cass suddenly stilling underneath him. The suction on his arm disappeared followed by a slow exhale and a tattooed hand grabbing his chin and shifting him as Cassidy lifted his head to look at Jesse.

For all the blood that now coated his mouth and chin, all the red in Cassidy’s eyes had washed away. His eyes were focused and dilated and staring at Jesse with some inscrutable emotion that the preacher couldn’t place in his groggy state. The seconds ticked by and the only sound in the car was deep, deliberate breathing.

“Yeh eejit,” Cass finally whispered, his voice closer to its usual lilt but still a bit rough and deadly serious.

“Hey Cass.” Jesse grinned, blinking slowly.

“I could’ve…yeh didn’t…what where yeh thinkin’ doin’ such a- “

“I was thinkin’ I’d help my best friend get better.”

“Puttin’ yerself at risk like that?! I wouldn’t want that padre I DON’T want that!” Cass grimaced and shoved himself away from Jesse and moved to the opposite side of the car. He wiped his mouth and tongue furiously on his shirt, trying to rid himself of the taste of Jesse’s blood. 

Jesse’s eyes widened in confusion. “Cass its fine. Genesis worked, you’re healin’ up, I’m a little light-headed but-“

Cass’ brow furrowed and he frowned and turned away from Jesse.

“Do yeh have any idea what that felt like? Do yeh have any clue?” There was a tremor in Cassidy’s voice that made Jesse pause.

“Cass..” Jesse’s voice was soft. He reached out to touch Cass who flinched away. Jesse’s face crumpled. 

“I didn’t know it’d hurt ya that much. I’m sorry.” Jesse retracted his hand and he averted his eyes to look out the window. The sun was finally starting to set and the light was turning purple and soft. 

“Yer not serious.”

“I know I should’ve thought about it first, not used Genesis like that on you. Fuck I guess it was like putting a choke collar on a dog and that shit’s inhumane as hell. Not that I’m comparing you to a dog, I just- “ Jesse rambled, tripping over his words trying to find something to say that would fix things.

“Inhumane?!” Cassidy’s voice cracked, tone reaching hysteric levels. He turned back towards Jesse, face twisted in pain. “Are yeh seriously worried _you_ hurt _me_?!“ Cass took in a shaking breath. “I was THIS close to killing yeh.”

“But you didn’t-“

“I WANTED to!” Cass growled, leaning forward and closing the distance and coming nose to nose with Jesse whose face was still awash with regret.

“There’s nothin’ in this world I wanted more than to rip yer throat out and drink ‘til the light went out in yer eyes.” Cass near snarled, his breathing shallow, looking like he was on the verge of tears. “And then I would’ve come back to meself with you lyin’ there, with yer blood everywhere – and - and the echo of that _want_ bangin’ round in me head…and I would’ve had to-“ Cass shuddered and swallowed hard, looking anywhere but at Jesse.

Jesse stared at Cassidy, a tightness in his chest he was still getting used to feeling around anyone except Tulip. He reached out again with a trembling hand and placed it on the side of Cassidy’s face, fingers in his hair. Cass closed his eyes at the touch and shuddered again. He took a slow, deliberate breath in through his nose, and out through his mouth, before turning to look at Jesse with a neutral expression.

“I can feel yer pulse in yer hand Jess.” His tone was flat and affectless.

“Ok.”

“I’m not all healed yet.”

“Right.”

“I could still hurt yeh.”

“You won’t.”

“Fer Christ’s…yeh don’t KNOW that.” Cass tone was pleading. 

“Please just go. Fer me own piece of mind. Please I..I know yeh can use Genesis but I jus…feeling like I want to kill yeh…even an echo of that…I don’t ever want to feel that way again Jesse,” Cass whispered. Jesse felt a lump rise in his own throat.

Jesse leaned in and pulled the vampire forward to rest their foreheads together, Cassidy’s breath hitched. “I promise Cass. If you ever feel like you wanna kill me again, it’ll be because I deserve it.”

Cass huffed a laugh in spite of himself. “Yer doin’ a damn fine job currently padre, what with shoving yer fuckin’ jugular not an inch from me face.”

Jesse smiled ruefully and lifted his head, lightly pressing a kiss on Cassidy’s forehead before drawing back. Cassidy’s face froze in shock, eyebrows sky high.

“We still gotta put some miles between us and the Grail though.”

“Oh…” Cass cleared his throat. “Aye. Eh…hell throw me in the trunk with a chicken or somethin’ like-“

“Somethin’ like this?” Tulip tapped on the door, causing both men to jump, holding up a struggling jackrabbit. “See? Told you we had time.”

“How in the hell did you catch a live jackrabbit?” Jessie chuckled in amazement.

“Pulled it out of a hat, who cares? Come on let’s go I wanna get to a motel while it’s still dark!”

The two men looked at each other and Cass finally cracked a genuine, soft smile that Jesse mirrored. They slowly descended into a fit of hysteric, relieved giggles that left Tulip with a wide-eyed, baffled expression that shifted into exasperation as she patiently waited for her fool boys to get it together long enough to put this fuckin patch of dirt behind them.


End file.
